I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about where I am headed and what I want to do with this so called photography career. I took the classes and I assisted and I got the gigs and I networked and I put myself out there. And then I had a baby and my time got eaten up, and then I had another baby and my time is even less that it was before. It took me a while to realize this but I don’t want a full time career in photography. It’s not that I don’t think I can do it and it’s not that I’m scared of the hard work, it ‘s that I don’t want to put the pressure on my creative life to make a living.
I have so few minutes in the day for me. I haven’t had a hair cut since October. If I want to shower everyday I have to do it at night after 8pm when the kids are in bed and I can’t stand going to bed with wet hair. I don’t think I’m alone in that sentiment eh? So I don’t shower everyday. I spend most of my days with the kids and sometimes I feel like a single parent because my husband works so hard to support us that he sometimes has no choice but to work a 12-14 hour day. I’m not complaining though because it’s this dream that puts food on our table and the occasional smile on our faces lol.
Anyways, my point is that I am letting go of the stress of trying to be something I am not. I still have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with my not pursuing a professional career in photography. I am not letting anyone down by making this decision and I will be a better person (and photographer) because of it. Everyday this gets easier for me and it doesn’t mean I won’t be showing my work in galleries or participating in CONTACT, it just means that I will be doing things at my own pace.
Having said that I don't want to rest on my laurels. So I will be making a commitment to update this blog a bit more frequently as well as posting pictures I've taken. Here's to change!